Review: James Cameron’s Avatar Is, Like, The Totally Awesomest Movie Ever

DECEMBER 24, 2009 (Los Angeles, CA) – A panel of critically-acclaimed critics agree that James Cameron’s Avatar is the most awesomest, bodacious, sweetest, dude-ical film in the history of time. Cameron, who probably either directed or produced the film, was humble in accepting the well-deserved kudos. “I set out to make the greatest movie since the movie pictures were first developed a century ago,” he explained. “And, there can be no question that we succeeded. Avatar is so beloved, its logo appears everywhere, alongside that of Coca-Cola and America, itself”

Indeed, while hundreds of millions of dollars were spent making the film, even more was spent advertising it. Indeed, one financial analyst estimates that Avatar’s advertising onslaught cost more than the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. “The ‘Avatar’ logo appears on television, on bill boards, on long boards, on football fields, on Happy Meals – even advertisements for other products! Everything from knap-sacks to hacky-sacks bears this glorious symbol of Hollywood perfection – and its all thanks to me.” Indeed, the film’s advertisements also highlight Cameron’s other blockbuster films, like The Terminator, which he also (presumably) either directed or produced.

The critical survey was based on a thorough six month double-blind review of a wide range of Avatar’s advertising and product placement spots. The critics were not, however, able to review the actual film as the study began when the advertising did – approximately one year prior to the film’s release date.