AUGUST 10, 2009 (Martinsburg, W.V.) – This is the first of a nine part series investigating the details underneath the comforting façade of the freecreditreport.com pitchman, Duane Jones. While Jones plays a dead-beat “everyman” on the popular television ad series, he is, in fact, a quite wealthy and sophisticated investor. And, contrary to his on-air persona, the state of his finances and credit are, in fact, excellent.
Jones, a West Virginia native, got straight A’s through grade school, until attending the prestigious University of Chicago, where he received a bachelor’s degree in Economics, summa cum laude. He went on to receive his PhD at the London School of Economics, completing the five year program in a record two and one half years.
After graduating, he went to work for a number of Fortune 500 companies before landing at freecreditreport.com. At every step of the way, however, HR records indicate that Jones maxed out his 401k contributions and savvily invested large portions of his disposable income, while hiring illegal migrant workers to do most of his labor for him.
Next Week: Learn how Jones lost his virginity to a farm animal before leaving for Chicago where he roofied his first girlfriend.
Jones, a West Virginia native, got straight A’s through grade school, until attending the prestigious University of Chicago, where he received a bachelor’s degree in Economics, summa cum laude. He went on to receive his PhD at the London School of Economics, completing the five year program in a record two and one half years.
After graduating, he went to work for a number of Fortune 500 companies before landing at freecreditreport.com. At every step of the way, however, HR records indicate that Jones maxed out his 401k contributions and savvily invested large portions of his disposable income, while hiring illegal migrant workers to do most of his labor for him.
Next Week: Learn how Jones lost his virginity to a farm animal before leaving for Chicago where he roofied his first girlfriend.
Later: Jones admits that he lip-synched the entire first three years worth of freecreditreport.com commercials.
As you’ve probably figured out by now, there’s a enormous amount of information about credit scores floating around on the Internet.http://www.free-credit-report.net
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